As I begin my journey to become “Charcoal Meg” I am wondering, as a mother of 5 young children, can I be a “really good” mom and a successful artist? Is it even possible? How do I find balance? Where is that perfect spot in the middle where the stars align and everything just falls into place?
Motherhood is a fulltime 24/7, often monotonous, job filled with unexplainable moments of pure delight, joy and satisfaction, but I still feel sometimes that there is something missing from my life….and then I feel GUILTY about it. Not just any old guilt but the big nagging mommy guilt. I willingly and eagerly signed up for parenthood and I’d never change my decision, but is it ok for me to want other things as well?
I have so many questions for myself, so many answers to find. How can I use my vocation of motherhood to better my art, influence it? How can I use my faith and gifts from God to inspire and improve it? How can I guard my heart against ever feeling resentful of my motherhood, especially when it seems to block me from being able to focus on anything else?
So I invite you to come along with me as I strive to answer some of these questions and become a “little charcoal pencil” in the hand of God.
charcoal meg 
I love you Meg!! Everyone needs their hobby and you are so talented!
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I felt the same way for so many years. I would often tell God that I’m a sitting duck ready to fly – use me!!! In my case, I had a lot of learning and molding to do before I could be set free. Often times , to bring me alive, I would create things! This reached the depths of my soul. I then learned to journal which taught me a lot about myself. I’m inspired by you always. I think you are on the right path to meeting your need. But always know that God has perfect- PERFECT timing to opening Your door!!!
Keep up the good work as a wife, mother and one of my favorite people in Christ!!!
Tobie
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I think you would love the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge!
Description of the book:
Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet?how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores, and errands, striving to be the women they “ought” to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christen women add to the pressure. “Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman.” The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live?the life she dreamed of as a little girl.
The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.
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God is slow but never late! His timing is perfect. Keep your heart open and He will lead you, in a beautiful dance.
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I can’t believe I am just seeing this! You have always been one of the most talented artists I have ever seen, a God-given gift. I am so happy that you are finding the courage to bring art into your crazy world! I know how much you love it and I really believe that allowing ourselves to do something we really love makes us better mothers because we are happier mothers! Love you and miss you and I’m so excited to see what is to come!
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