Finding Myself

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.  Theodore Retke

I love this quote! It is a source of hope and a reminder that our light is already in us, sometimes it’s just buried really deep. Every time I read it I’m taken back to one of those moments when I realized I had forgotten that I still had “light” inside of me.

It was just another day with three small kids to meet the needs of and we were all in the kitchen around supper time. My oldest son, who was in first  grade at the time, had implied that I didn’t know anything and couldn’t help him with whatever he was working on. It was hurtful to hear how incapable he thought I was of helping beyond feeding him, washing his clothes and being there to meet his daily needs.

My husband, seeing the look on my face, jumped in immediately and said, “your mom graduated from college Summa Kum Laude and that’s really good! She made all A’s in school and she had a really good job with a famous photographer before we were married. She could have become anything she wanted to, but she chose to stay home and take care of you.”

My son was surprised and impressed. He said “really?” with an incredulous look on his face. I was more surprised than him. Time froze as my heart sank to my toes. I had forgotten that. I had forgotten that I existed, that I was good at something once. I had completely forgotten who I once was. For a brief moment I mourned that loss. Then time resumed and life moved on at the speed of light.

Flash forward five years and two more kids later, I was sitting in a waiting room flipping through an issue of Better Homes and Gardens when I saw it. That quote by Theodore Retke. I read it, then I read it again and then I had another one of those time stands still moments. I realized that the person I used to be still did exist. She wasn’t actually lost after all.

I’ll wrap this up with something a blogger wrote that very eloquently sums up what this quote speaks to me:

        “There is nothing simpler than listening to our own heart and soul, when you are ready to listen. They will not guide you wrong. And the first thing they will tell you is that YOU ALREADY ARE. You already are exactly the way you were made to be, you already are everything you need.” Jessica Eve

 

2 thoughts on “Finding Myself

  1. Tobie says:

    May today there be peace within.

    May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

    May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

    May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

    May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

    Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

    It is there for each and every one of us.
    Teresa of Ávila

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